You are The Hermit

Prudence, Caution, Deliberation.

The Hermit points to all things hidden, such as knowledge and inspiration,hidden enemies. The illumination is from within, and retirement from participation in current events.

The Hermit is a card of introspection, analysis and, well, virginity. You do not desire to socialize; the card indicates, instead, a desire for peace and solitude. You prefer to take the time to think, organize, ruminate, take stock. There may be feelings of frustration and discontent but these feelings eventually lead to enlightenment, illumination, clarity.

The Hermit represents a wise, inspirational person, friend, teacher, therapist. This a person who can shine a light on things that were previously mysterious and confusing.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

You are The Wheel of Fortune

Good fortune and happiness but sometimes a species of
intoxication with success

The Wheel of Fortune is all about big things, luck, change, fortune. Almost always good fortune. You are lucky in all things that you do and happy with the things that come to you. Be careful that success does not go to your head however. Sometimes luck can change.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

My new and cutie dragon pets.
Still in th egg.

Please click on the link so they live.

Thanks

http://dragcave.net/viewdragon/qpvL"><img  http://dragcave.net/image/qpvL.gif

Today i am mourning the death of my grandfather.
He was very ill for a long time, and passed away yesterday mourning, i wasn't there and got the news by phone.

I am not mourning is death per say, but the lost chance to makes peace with him, for we hadn't spoken in many years do a good intention gone bad.

Death is not bad, but leaves a void inside us, specially when there are thing left to say and clarify.

Blessed Be

Black

You are The High Priestess

Science, Wisdom, Knowledge, Education.

The High Priestess is the card of knowledge, instinctual, supernatural, secret knowledge. She holds scrolls of arcane information that she might, or might not reveal to you. The moon crown on her head as well as the crescent by her foot indicates her willingness to illuminate what you otherwise might not see, reveal the secrets you need to know. The High Priestess is also associated wit h the moon however and can also indicate change or fluxuation, particularily when it comes to your moods.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

I am just going to post a poem in Portuguese, since i don«t feel like to translate it.

Fingidor...

Máscaras sobre máscaras, sobre máscaras
um palco eterno e infindável.
Uma peça sem final, sem aplausos
nem critícas.

Sem linhas e frases feitas,
sem coreografias ou vestuário.

Um tempo cheio de ardor ilógico
um sentimento sem sentido.
Uma tentação, uma dor inocente.

Uma marca nos olhos obscuros,
Um sorriso de escarnio,
uma fronteira ultrapassada ...
nada escapa ao ouvido tisíco do povo.

Uma mão magra, engelhada pelo sofrimento,
escrevinha a agridoce desilusão
e verdade escondida,
no pergaminho da alma.

Palavras soltas formam-se em frases,
duras, acósticas de revolta,
cruas dores da alma e do corpo,
gritos presos pelo medo e opressão

Libertam-se na subetileza macraba
do poema.

Poeta quem és tu?

Consciencia ou juíz?
Um demonio ou uma anjo caido?

Desterrado bardo, mergulhado no medo
demente, insesamantemente buscando a verdade,
olhando, analizando, expondo
aquilo que os outros escondem nas sombras da vida.

Poeta quem és tu?

A palavra sussurada, á fraca luz da noite?

Mas que te ergues vitorioso
quando a tua escrita semeia a verdade
nas bocas antes fechadas.

A tua memória é eterna,
mas amarga a tua vida.
Pois é no sofrimento do Mundo
que encontras a tua musa.

Espinhosa e escorregadia,
de corpo sinuoso e olhar pecador.

A tua voz é o papel, e cimento
do dia a dia.
E quando o teu corpo magro pela fome,
se estender sem forças
o teu sorriso não desvanecera.

Partiras sorrindo,
pois a morte acalenta a tua paz.
Jazes palido e brilhante
como uma luz na mais escrura noite.

Inacabado o teu legado,
pejado de sangue ingenuo.
Escarraste na face daqueles que se julgavam acima
da verdade e justiça,
Foste cego ao terror, enfrentas-te o fuzilamento
e saiste vencedor.

Poeta quem és tu?

30/11/2005

I wrote this because of a new about Fernando Pessoa, one of the Great Poets in Portugal.

It's almost christmas, not my fav time of the year, in fact, i feel depressed on christmas time.

Anyway to all of those that love christmas, i wish you all a Merry Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

May this New Year bring you all lots of Love and Joy, and may all your wishes came true.

Have you ever felt the desire to just stop breathing?

Every day the same pain, the same dull life, the same fears and then some new ones.

You try to close your mind to the buzz that swirls around you, in a non stopping madness, you try to forget that you are alive and still existing, in a non bearable hell.

You turn on the tv, and Bam the news ... riping out the little sanity you have left. The disasters, the wars and natural catasphrofies.

and you look in the mirror and see this face, pale, dull, bored and lifeless ... just a piece of meat that eats and sleeps, what every day kills a piece of your soul.

That's life.

Today i am just down.

I didn't start the day like that, so what the hell happened to me???

I went out to the JF, and then to the Finance's Department, and the supermarket, along the way i had this suddenly desire to eat a suspiro, so after the super i went to the pastelaria, but they didn't had any.

( walling hard )

Must of the times when i suddenly became like this, it means that something bad is going to happen, i am scared.

Maybe i will just go to bed,a nd try to sleep it off.

Black_fire

I am in a odd state today, i feel of, dep and angsty.

I am weird in so many ways, that even scary.

So i wrote another poem tonight, it's been like a week since i wrote anything, and when i went to post it on the http://alpoetry.com site ( where i post my poetry ) Ii had a review on this poem ( below ) this wonderfull guy called it an Ode to Love.

I was and am flattered, since i never experience Love before, i mean sure i love lots of thing and my mom, and friends, and even had this deep angsty love when i was like 9 years ( i was truly inlove ), but i was to young and suffered like Hell, since then i never felt this Love ( no, that is not entiarly true, i have feeling for some, but since he is far of my league, and doesn't even know i am alive, it doesn't count ) i am a virgin on that point.

Enough ranting, here is the Poem.

Unseened - Omnipresent

No rules apply,
no words describe,
no image can convene
the meaning of your name.

Such a small word,
for such an unruly emotion.

From a pledged of eternity
to a battle field of corpses.
So much blood spilled,
so many tears drooped...

From the dawn of the first blink,
from the unseeing eyes of an infant,
from the moment of beginning,
until the moment of the end...

From the first cry,
to the last word...
All we know for sure... is you
the Love.

Of flesh and bones,
of mind and heart,
from errors to rights,
we try to hide the need for you.

In darkness and light,
in the run and acceptance,
we fail to understand
the true meaning of you word.

So to love Love,
is to Love thy self,
through good and evil,
through life and death.

Is from the moment you exist
to embrace the fear of thy name.

Is to smile and to cry,
to be happy and sad,
is to wish upon the unwished,
for one moment of pure Love.

For so many faces and body,
our hands and eyes may touch and see,
there only one freezing moment...
when you can feel it, taste it,
see it, ear it and breath it.

And if it's real...
the sun will shine, the earth will tremble,
the water will be the nectar
and the fire will burn away all the rest.

So hold deep inside...
the faith and hope,
so when it comes
so small and fragile...

you body will open, and soul unfold
those small four letters
that name thy nemesis
and thy angel.

L
for longing,
O
for obscure,
V
for venturous
and
A
for ancient like the time.

( written tonight )

I won't start talking about my last two weeks, since they aere hell.
My contract just ended so now, i have to search for another job,
and that is not easy since it's almost Winter here.

Besides now i need to find another Apt for me and my mom, since i have to get out of this one.
I really need some days off and maybe a boyfriend.

Anyway, on to my poem.
I wrote this today, my muse as awake, and slip this one out for me.

Wings of Soul and Leafs of Immortality

I hold in my hands
a gold crystal butterfly,
the color of your eyes.

In my head a garnet
of bright green moss laurel,
makes beauty shy.

In a small cage the butterfly
morns her freedom,
and in a cascade of earthy hues
and silk trends
the laurel leafs slowly dry out.

I open my hands,
and uncover the golden crystal
to the impious sun...

she struggles to get free...
but i am selfish...

I will not let her depart,
unless it's upon my death.

The moon shines,
and she reflects the silvery beans...
Images of hope rise,
faith crumbles... and the world changes.

But the butterfly and the laurel garnet remain,
trapped in my hands, and silk trends.

I am weak, meek...
I dwell in the sins of the mind...
And refuse those of the flesh.

Days equal years,
time slows down,
until my eyes see the atoms,
the compose the melody of life.

Upon my hands a veil of golden crystal dust,
brands my unblemished skin,
ivory meet bronze liquid.

Minute by minute
the golden crystal butterfly fades,
shimmers and finally...
time vanquished her.

Her final goodbye is a flicker of wings.

Minute by minute
the garnet of bright green moss laurel,
loses his royal color,
and finally the small torny leafs fall,
the last Autumn of life claims them.

His final goodbye are the seeds
that the wind takes.

The cage lays rusty
on the dirty floor of days past,
The butterfly of my soul was long departed.

The cascade of earthy hues
and silky trends,
is now grey as the angry clouds,
and sparkles with the diamond dust
of the garnet of bright green moss laurel.

Thus i lay tho rest
my Soul
and my Immortality.

As the Butterfly takes flight
and the Laurel takes roots.

Daunting

The day turns to night
softly enticing.

Upon the altar you hope...
the hallowed dusk falls
blowing the carnelian leafs
in a effervescent dance...

Your seclusion is no more...
... they have found you.

The liquid deceit of a sworn love    
          was fallen prey
and the shards of that broken promise
became a vine of thorns
that pierce your soul.

The once the shimmering
... circlet upon your head
   a mark of royalty
is now a piece of rusty brass.

no opalescent colours
no reveries

You are only a fragment
of a time passed.
               ... the orchids twirl transparent
at you feet

They pay you Homage!

And the brim realm
now floats
         in ardent debris.
The frayed code
can not rekindled
the drecrees of hope.

The vernal reality is upon you.

The once perpetual
                 poignant tones
that echoed the immaculate
reign
lie defeated ... at the eyes
of the hallowed beast.

You stand aimlessly,
looking at a past
                 that will never became
                 a future.

The Regal Maiden and the Virgin Dagger

The virgin dagger sparkles,
from her silk embroid box,
she peeks.

The door creaks... a shadow enters
  behold the regal face
  of a debouched maiden.

Shyly, hides her face
the ivory pale skin
                  now blushed in shame.

She bathed in the nectar
of sin.
No longer the immaculate innocence
adorns her bosom.

From the goblet of lewdness
she avidly drunk...

  Her garments lay scattered
  on the bare floor,
and the dawning light
                    enlightens the sinful bed.

Her lost virtue,
  now rest in the hands
  of the judge...

Hands in praying pose
beg...
Will her reveries be forgotten?
  Envious treachery her heart screams...

Thief, run off with her iridescent
virtue...
Invoke not naivety
                 for those pleas
will fall in deaf ears.

The dusk is settling
on the battle ground,
                    who will fight for her honor?

What raven of perdition
will bet its soul?

Tears of poignant echoes
bleach her pale ensemble.
She no longer savour
  the dulcet turret of virtue.

    A spawn... now grows
  in a womb,
  the perpetual halo
reeks...

She smells of sin...
Stone her, whore...

The wind shouts!
               She fell in the arcane deceit.
Poor soul,
  dammed to hell.

Lay now, in the bed of sin
in sheets of frayed hope
 
     Roar in pain,
     the is no gain,
the sweet maiden
paints the floor
  with the color of her heart

clatter...
         the dagger was fallen.

I don't know if this poem is good, but it's one of my fav.

I'm bored out of my skull.

Is life supposed to be like this?, Lonely and empty?

Or did i miss a rule on being happy?

Most would think me crazy, for if there is one thing i'm certain of, is that, out there exists the perfect one for me.

I even think that i kow who he is, but i can tell, it's a secret.

Nameless

I feel it

My soul is dying.

My body is surrendering to the emptyness.

The tears sting my eyes in abandon,

The shakes invade my body,

I’m departing from this merciless world.

Nothing i will take from him,

Not good or evil,

No happiness or joy,

I will live it all behind,

For the pain is all i can carry.

No blessings wore bestowed upon me.

Not even my love, the only gift i ever craved for.

I know his face, his name

But for him i’m just an nameless soul

Walking the paths of life

Breathing careless words and promesses.

Insanity grips strongly on to my heart,

It trys to rip it out,

I lout this feeling.

You, my mind, are slipping way,

And i never had you.

Goodbye!

Forgive me for this emotions,

That make me yours.

Never mine, just a tentation of my heart

Just a dream,

Just you.

If i could i would say Goodbye to this World.

This past week was bitter to me, so i'm still pretty dp and down, therefor i wrote two poems that exteriorize those opressing feellings.

Waiting

In this one i made a request for someone at the HP/SS fandom to write a fic based on it, but it seems the poem sucks pretty bad and no one was interested.

Testment

Tears run free in my face

Leaving a bloodie trail in their way.

It’s been a long time since crystal tears have been sheed,

I’m a corpse walking trough shady paths,

My soul was fleed so long ago

I can’t remember the taste of it.

Blindeed by the past, i can not build the future

My hands shake was i try to write this testment.

Do not let pain and sorrow feel you,

Scream and cry until your eyes dry out,

Until your throat is raw and you can’t speak

I’m broken.

Forgive my ignorence, my lack of faith

But has my flesh falls from my body

I gain peace in the oblivious of Death.

No more tears run free,

Just crystal clear eyes facing nothing,

For i will finaly forget and be forgoteen.

I live in hapypness at last.

Evanescenc brought this one up on my heart.

That's pretty much how i'm felling.

Life sucks.

May the blessing of obliviation came upon us,

For this World is far to cruel, and evil.

This was a lousy day for me, i lost my job.

That disgusting men ( my boss ), though that he could make me have sex with him, so i would keep my job, and waited until my contract was about to renovated to punch the blow. I'm going to press charges against him, but until then i need a job, or i wont have money for food.

I hate this country!!!!

I wish i was born somewhere else.